A Prayer From My Heart To Yours x

I'm Trying to Live a Good Life and I Couldn't Do it Without You.

Hello my dear friends,

Thank you for finding my words and for the time you are giving to read them. I really hope and wish that life is being gentle and soft to you in this moment.

I am sitting at my desk with my candle lit, and before I began to write this letter I said a prayer. A prayer for you. A prayer that anything that might be bothering you might lighten. A prayer that whatever is holding you down might loosen and let you free. A prayer that whatever worries are keeping you from sleeping at night, might lessen and allow you to peacefully rest. A prayer that whatever might be making you scared or fearful might move into the distrance and leave you in the light that you truly deserve.

I say prayers constantly throughout the day. I say them for myself. I say them for my loved ones. I say them for my friends. I say them for you. I say them for people I don’t know. I say them for people who ask me to say them. I say them hoping and begging for relief for all of us who struggle in big ways and small. I say them offering my gratitide. I ask of whoever is higher in this world, to stay close to those who carry doubt, sadness and loss and help you through to the light. I say a lot of prayers.

Sometimes they are traditional words of prayer but more often they are a short conversation. Sometimes real words spoke out in nature when nobody only me and the birds are there to witness. Sometimes they are whispered deep inside my soul. Words I and my greater power can only hear. Sometimes I look at the people I love and I whisper gently in my mind how grateful I am for these beautiful people in my life. They do not know what I am saying or that I am even having these deeply silent conversations but I am. I am not completely alone ever, I know God, the sky, the moon, the stars, my loved ones in heaven can hear me.

I believe in God. I’m not sure who or what you might believe yourself but I definitely believe in God. The word ‘God’ is so close to the word ‘Good’ - it gives me a great sense that this ‘God’ person is someone I recognise. Someone I like. I believe my higher power and God sits in a million places and in a million parts of the people I love. God is just a word I use but my belief system is endless and unconditional.

I see ‘God’ in all that I love. Whether it is a sunset, the beautiful faces of my nephews and nieces, the words of my wonderful friends, the holding of the door by a stranger, the lyrics of my favourite musicians, the heat from my mug of tea, the pillow I lie on, the hand of someone in mass offering me ‘peace be with you’, the smiling face of the girl in the shop, the wave from the passerby in his car, the flickering of the light from my candle, the shared space of sitting on a beach with another, the moon smiling down on me, the love shared by another human in wishing me the best, the soft smile of my mother as she looks for the good in everything, the moment I miss someone I love, the words written on a card, the flowers smiling up at me and even in the scribed letters on a headstone, reminding me that God and the Good is everywhere once we open our eyes, our mind and our heart to it. The task of this life is to never stop looking for it, even if all the odds are against you and it.

For me my belief system is simple. My belief system is wide and creative yet deeply simple. It can be applied in any moment and every moment. And it is up to me to work hard and find it. Sometimes it’s not hard and it just presents itself but other times it’s trickier to lean into the good and embrace it. Over the last decade I’ve experienced a lot of personal tests and trials and even in the midst of the darknest hour I still have remained true and dedicated to leaning in the good that lies within me. I too must never lose sight of the light within, otherwise the light outside of me will die too…I am not perfect. Far from it but I do try my best. I try to be on the good side of life - close to the good, creating the good and maybe just maybe close to God in those moments especially when the good option is not the easy option. In life it is not always easy to be good. When I use the term ‘good’, I guess I’m referring to the virtues of this present moment and often this fast passing life.

I know this is all easier said than done but I do regard the practice of kindesss and compassion the only route to truly living a good and healthy life. I truly believe that I am here to serve. To be of service. And in turn I am blessed with people who feel the same and they too return that offering. To create a good and joyful world, we must be willing to put in the effort. And most importantly it must not be so we can receive but rather that others can. The older generation and the next generation is who needs our service most. And no matter what happens, I thoroughly believe that once you offer your heart and hand forward, those hearts and hands will always return to you in a million different way.

Yesterday I received four messages from friends. The first was to meet for breakfast. The second was to meet whereby I received flowers. The third was a check into see that I was doing ok. The fourth was sharing how tough life has been and that I have been in their prayers.

Now if that is not the greatest blessing to have in my life right now I don’t know what is.

I have always lived my life in a way that I tend to give myself away. Yes it is who I am. Many might criticise and few in my lifetime have said straight out ‘you are a people pleaseer and you will regret what you do.’ But I know who I am and I will never regret giving away my loving heart nor my helping hand. It is not the case now nor will it ever be. I have worked endlessly on my inner self and I will continue to do so. I have sunk deep inside my soul and spirit throughout the last decade to know I am not here to live an ordinary life (none of us are!) If anything I am here to take the less travelled road. I am here to wear shoes that no other has worn. I choose my shoes and they are mine. I choose peace. I choose love. I choose kindness. I choose sacrifise. I choose friendship. I choose the other.

I am here to put my arm around the lonely and shine love and hope ahead of them so they can take the next step. I am also here to stand up to those whose focus is to hurt others and project darkness. I am here to take care of all I meet and I will always try stand up to those those who think pushing down others is an option.

In making these moves, I have learned the greatest lessons about myself. I have learned a lot about others but mostly my lessons have been about myself. I have been forced to travel to the darkest parts of myself and I have risen. Just like Jesus on the cross I have found my way out. I am seen for who I am by so many who know me personally. A lot of getting to know me happens in the silence of my words or in the intimidate chats I have with many. So many I have helped out of darkness and so many who have helped me out of the darkness.

I am so grateful to so many of you. I am so blessed that you have helped me see through the darkness and you are the reason I carry my lantern. People whose stories will never be known and some whose will. At this stage, I have gained the most inspirational wisdom from all those I have helped and all those who have helped me. We are meant to be travelling this life together. And even though I spend quite a lot of time on my own, I hold each of you in my heart at all times.

I believe in a life well lived as a life where you have had a positive impact on others. The reason for me being on this earth is to live a life with no regrets. I will never regret helping people I love and I will never regret putting my full heart forward. Yes there is a cost to that and it will be asked of me on numerous occasions forever more to pay that price but what a life to live but to know you cashed in your chips every single time. I do not want to leave a breathe of my life behind. I want to hold as many people as I can in my arms. I want to live a life that helps those who need helping & when that hand is needed, I want to be able to offer it. The honour is to be in the right place at the right time holding that hand out.

To need a match when the candle of light has gone out is exactly when you need that person with that match right? If anything that is the purpose of this life and my greatest joy is in the simple moments of witnessing others rise from the dark into the light giving my presence more purpose on this path. I rise with them. I rise beside them. I rise with peace because that is where peace is born. It is born in the dark among friends.

What I want in this life: Simple pleasures; A roof, A bed. My loved ones well and happy. Food. Enough money to pay my few bills.My health - to see the sun rise. I want to hear the birds sings. I want to see the flowers bloom. I want to hold the hands of those I love when they need someone to hold their hands. I want to see them live and I want to be there when they depart too. I want to know I made a difference. I want to know I gave my all. I want to miss the people I love and I want them to miss me when it’s my time to go too. I want to be a light to all who are a light to me. You are my light and I will never fear the darkness to the extent I would if I didn’t have you by my side. And that is why I pray. I pray to take care of you and me. I pray to thank whoever brought you into my life to know I am grateful. Gratitude is not a practice to me. It is the air in my lungs. I love through the practice of knowing you are my friend. You are my light and I will always be grateful I met you. MAybe we only met at a friends party. Maybe you met me through the internet. Maybe you are a school friend all my life. Maybe you are someone I haven’t met (physically) yet. Maybe you are the light that flickers in my candle but I know and you do too, through these words we have met. And it is magic. We are together and that is what humans are meant to be. We are meant to be close. We are meant to share space, share light and most importantly share the good wishes that lie in our hearts and help each other look up. Thank you for being here with me.

On Wednesday the 30th April, just over a week from now, I will speak at the School of Philosophy in London on the practices in which I have studied that have aided me continueing on the path of virtue I hope I will always walk. My studies have helped me to continue to be strong when I have felt weak. My belief system is rooted in many areas. Philosophy and the study of stoic practices with my inspirational and good friend William Wray being a major one over the last two years. My beautiful father was a natural philosopher and also my gorgeous gran had the gift too- both people I was fortunate to soak in their spirtual souls when they were here and both whose hands I held as they passed onto the next world. I never imagined witnessing someone die but when those sacred moments happened and I was there, I knew God and the Good of this world was being passed onto me. Witnessing your own heart break teaches you lessons nobody could ever describe to you. Living a good life beyond the heartbreak is the real lesson of this world and it is why I believe in fate and also why I carry my faith. Those very sacred moments of death forever written in my soul and I believe those horrendous heartbreaking moments are the reason I am the person I am today.

My beautiful mother is the combination of both these people and it is why I spend so much time alongside her as she lives her life beyond the sadness and loss of her people. Watching and soaking in people who llive good lives is the best way I think I can learn from this world. The darkness is obvious and quick and without effort, the good, the kind, the compassionate and the strong is where the efforts bare fruit like no other. To witness the light in the dark is ever present miracles of this life and even though I wish me or you didn’t have to witness the dark, it is second guarantee in this world alongside death.

Other routes that have helped me stay focused on the good include: Spending endless time in nature. I look at the sky obsessively throughout the day. I invest time in my friends and family. I stand by people who I know are on the right side of morals, justice and ethics. I listen and I listen and I listen. I love to converse but most of all I love to listen. I love to hear what the world is trying to say among the noise. I love to hear people’s voices and their tone. I look at their body language. I love their eyes. Everything is there to see if you look. I love to hold the door open for strangers. I love to give the free parking space to others. I love that I can contribute in my own little way to the small picture because it is in the big picture that your life’s efforts will be seen. I am grateful for the gift that God gave me but also the gifts that I have worked on within myself. I love my mind that is always open and looking for more. I am never right. I am always learning. I do not know anything about anything but I am always wondering and thinking and reflecting about everything. I have no quams about saying that ‘I don’t know’. I dont know much but I do know that life is a lesson. Everyday we have the opportunity to try figure out another bit of the puzzle and everytime we have the opportunity to start again. Kinder. Softer. More forgiving. Not just to others but to ourselves too.

There are only two things I know. I will die. And I want that moment to be a moment where I look back whether from my bed or from Heaven and say I helped more than I hurt. I offered more light than created dark. I was a friend and I enjoyed the pure joy of having a friend. I loved the time I was given on this earth and learned many many leassons on my road. With those lessons I helped others & was helped myself and when my time comes I will leave and be ready to start my next life beyond the moon and the stars and I will see the colours of the rainbow and know that the rainbow’s colours were not about what I was going to bring with me, but what I was going to leave behind.

The second thing I know, and I will finish up here is that no matter how hard you fight it, darkness and suffering will always exist. It will always find you no matter how hard you hide or no matter where you run. It is the reason God created nightfall. As humans we tend to want to live in the light all the time and God knew if he left us in sunlight we would never go to bed. We would take and take and take until there was no sunlight left for others. So even though it sounds like I’m being a little pessimistic, I am not at all. I share about the darkness because no matter who we are, the shared space of darkness allows us all to step forward with light. The shared belief that we suffer gives comfort to each of us that we are never alone. NEVER! And even though darkness is horrendous, it can be extinguished once the moon and stars step out. The light of the sunrising awakens and reminds us all that darkness does not last forever and once we hold on and help each other, we can and will indeed live a life worth living. We will indeed leave a marker on the lives of all we love and when our day comes, just like it did for my dad and my gran, we will leave a gift behind us. We will leave a reason to live on. A reason to love. A reason to look up. And that is what this life is really all about.

I would love if you might like to attend my talk at the School of Philosophy in London and since it is virtual this time, you can indeed attend and witness me in action. I hope and pray that I do a good job. I haven’t given a public talk such as this in quite sometime so I feel nervous inside me yet I know that my approch has always been to be myself and all will be well. And that is what I will do this time too. I will live as I do every morning the sun lifts its head. I will begin again and try to live a good life and I will try my best to hold my hand out to anyone who needs it.

The link to receive the zoom link is as follows:

https://schoolofphilosophy.org/pages/wisdom-works
Click on this link above and then you will see a big image of Seneca and then you pop in your name and email address in the screen that pops up and the school will then send you out the zoom link closer to the time:)

It takes place on Wednesday 30th April at 7pm. It will be focused on what I’ve written above along with my thoughts on the importance of doing the right thing for the right person at the right time with the right heart. It’s been a motto for the last decade of my life and even though I have felt the wrath of suffering and also the wrath of sacrafice there is not one thing I regret in my life.

I am really grateful for your reading all the way down here or maybe you were listening to my recording. I hope you felt my love and light being sent your way and now that it is dark, my candle is still lit, I will now say another prayer for you and close my day thinking of you.

Love and light always and thank you always for supporting me.

I run a zoom meet up on a Monday night whereby like minded people come together for chats and tea, if you would like more information and might like to join us, please feel free to contact me on loucoghlanwrites@gmail.com

Also if you might be in a position to support an independent writer such as me, I have a Buy Me a Virtual Coffee link here too: https://buymeacoffee.com/livingandlaughingwithlou

Finally I would like to say a huge thank you to all my paid subscribers on my substack home here. I hope you know how vital you are to keep me writing. You really really are a light in life and I hope you know how grateful I am for you always.

Also my Facebook Family (https://www.facebook.com/LIVINGANDLAUGHINGWITHLOU/ - no words for you only thank you for believing in me always x

Time me to close down my laptop,

Keep looking up my dearest starbars,

Your friend always,

Lou x

Please feel free to leave a comment below if this piece moved your heart or you felt my hand around your shoulder. That was my aim and I hope I achieved it x

PPS. Apologies for any grammer or spelling mistakes, I write my substacks in one sitting. Nearly 4000 words here and even though I’ve re-read this, I know it’s not perfect but it is straight from my heart to the page so thanks for understanding x

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Myself with William Wray - He is not only my teacher and inspiration but a really great friend & I am honoured to know him :)

Some words from William Wray:

The next presentation will take place at 7pm on the 30th April and will be given by the journalist Louise Coghlan. It will tell the story of her chats/podcasts, which she started at the time of Covid when she moved in to look after her 107 year old granny, the oldest woman in Ireland. The conversations she had with her granny that formed the basis of these chats went viral and did so much to lift people's spirits at a difficult time. Though her granny has since passed on, Louise continues with her delightful chats/podcasts. Do come. You'll love her.

All of these presentations are demonstrating in one way or another the Circle of Virtue, how this simple philosophic model can be practised in a whole variety of ways.

Click here to register for Louise’s Wisdom Works presentation:

https://schoolofphilosophy.org/pages/wisdom-works

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Just a few of the very magical people that I met while in London with William :)