Being Grateful for the Light as I Sit in the Dark!

By Louise Coghlan

I sit in the quiet as the darkness falls once again. Every day is the same on this earth for all of us. No evening really different to the other. Well that is until mother nature decides to take away everything that makes life easy for us humans and replaces it with a very stark yet simple reality.

Of course to know an easy life only applies to us modern folk because it was beyond tough for the generations of our grandparents and those who only had the very basics when awakening every day to darkness until the tilly lamp was lit, going outside for the toilet and bringing water from a well to wait for it to boil on the solid fuel stove. Nothing was easy nor fast in those days.

We are indeed the generation that has everything handed to us and very little that takes time nor effort yet we seem to be the generation of complaint, the people who are offended most and ultimately the society that has everything but values nothing. To note I am part of this very society and this statement is an awareness of who I am and the part in which I play.

I sit now with very little. There is no electricity. No water. No internet. No heating. No television. No charging. No switches or any kind that mean anything. No calls. No noise. No nothing.

Lots of everyday comforts disappear in a blink and no longer exist in this moment of time.

There is no Netflix. No Spotify. No Whatsapp. No news. No Tik Tok. No weather forecast. No Instagram. No google. No Facebook. No banking. No calendar. No Amazon. No emails. No nothing.

In this time-freezed moment there is absolutely nothing but me. We as a people here in Ireland, sit in the quiet and the only sound that can be heard is the ticking of a clock. The realisation that time does indeed go slow if you slow down alongside it. There is no rushing. No racing. No not enough time when time is all you have. All of a sudden I can hear and see nothing, yet I can hear and see everything. I have time and it is endless.

I sit with myself. My body, my blood, my heart, my mind, my lungs and the very miraculous senses that God or whoever is in control gave me. All that matters right now is that my body continues to do what my body does every day without thought or thanks from me but today I notice it and I am very thankful.

I, like the rest of the country, have access to only two things in this moment – The dark and it is very very dark…Maybe the darkest I’ve ever seen it….And thankfully, very thankfully I am very grateful for a light that presents itself without request nor reason, it is itself and it has been there for me all along.

The darkness takes over the majority of my thoughts, my views, my opinions and is the source of much consideration leaving me with very little to think about only the dark itself. It's bigness yet its kina small when you take it bit by bit. It’s powerful yet its so quiet and unassuming. My question now lies: ‘Could darkness be my friend in this moment rather that seeing it as my enemy?’. My thoughts are not dark but instead are inspired by the dark. No longer can I see the step in front of me nor the one behind me as you hope you don’t fall or trip yet you don’t really worry about anything at all. It’s kind of like being rushed to the centre of your thoughts and when you arrive there, your brain is empty and all you need do is exist and be. There is something vast about the darkness that takes away all your tiny worries. The darkness definitely quietened my mind in a way that I only feel when I’m by the sea or when I lie on the ground and look up at the sky. An escapism of sorts. It brings a stillness and a stopping yet leaves you wanting to return to the other side as you hope this experience is just like all the rest gone before – temporary. You naturally pine for the other side of this darkness where the light lives.

There is only one hero in this story and it is my most beautiful friend, my most loyal companion – it is ‘Light’! It is the very light that mother nature gave us way back before we humans existed, yet we take her for granted every morning. The very same light mother nature or god or a higher power takes away from us every night. It is true to say this modern world’s greatest gift is light yet each day it is given in one hand and taken away in another and neither transactions we notice until it truly affects us. When you sit in the dark you do not take the light for granted and instead you thank the heavens above for its arrival. Every second is important.

See when you do not control the light, just like anything or anyone in this life, you begin to become very aware of its presence as well as its absence. You begin to realise how lucky we are for the light that we do not control. The light we cannot question. The light that consistently shows up for us even if we do not notice her, the light that lifts us all from the dark. The light is just like that very good friend who is always there. They might not be screaming or shouting for attention but they are as solid as the ground your feet stands, and no matter how dark it gets, they will show up for you, without request nor compliment.

There is only one hero in this story of darkness and it is the light. For me, in this moment, the light arrives in two formats and I am so grateful for both. The first being sunlight and the power it brings to my mind as the day awakes in a whole new way as you wait for the darkness to be burnt away. The opening to the day has never felt so spiritual and I have never felt so close to my ancestors as I do in this moment. Even though the calendar is still moving forward, it feels like I’ve gone back in time. I now understand in a tiny way why those gone before me worshipped the light in such a godlike way. They did not just rely on the element sunlight but they lived for it. Life happened because of the heat, the sustenance and the hope of what the light of the sky offered. No control. Just acceptance. And gratitude. So much gratitude. Actually nothing but gratitude.

I now sit with my new God – the light in the sky – noticing the magic dance of daylight - and my second god of light – the flames of the fire. The fire is my new source of heat, comfort and even sight. I sit grateful for the power in which each flicker offers me. I may seem alone but when fireside, you are never actually alone. The fire is your company and it offers endless hope and repose in a way that can’t be explained. It must be experienced as it transcends your whole situation and all of a sudden, you become at ease and you are no longer afraid of the dark. Because simply put – you are no longer alone…and you are no longer in the dark.

The darkness might be stark, strong and brazen but the light gently brings forward strength of a different kind - an energy, a vibrancy and a whole lot of hope that can only be witnessed while standing in the dark. It is the life giving light of the rising sun. Only for it, we would suffer dark night and day. Actually there would be no day and therefore I am reminded once again that without one there is no other and that is indeed why we suffer in this world. If we did not suffer, we would not notice, we would not see, we would not experience joy nor would we even know what light was nor would we be grateful for it. The rising sun offers boundless hope and healing every single waking morn and all of a sudden it lifts the burdens and worries of the night off my anxious chest and gives me insight and foresight of a different kind. I can indeed now see my next step better, clearer and I notice the finer details and I am grateful. The daytime gives a sense of safety but also calls on the body to feel like it should be busy and I take the opportunity to ‘do’ and ‘move’ with great gratitude as the daylight lifts us all from the dark drenched sombre atmosphere that it so easily drowns us in. It is not long until darkness will fall again and I will be back where I started. I will return to the dark under its orders so time in the fragile yet vibrant essence of the light – I will not take for granted. It will not be wasted. I will not like it pass me by like every other day of my life. I see it now and I will not let it pass me by without me counting my blessings in its presence. Thank you light. Thank you god. Thank you world.

The evening is not long about coming about as my step ahead slowly yet speedily fades to the shadows. I light the fire and sit back in my seat once again. My thoughts begin to gather in the quiet - slowly yet quickly realising that we, the people of 2025, have indeed made quite the mess of the world. We are moving so fast, we hold no gratitude for the sources of comfort generations before us would have lived for.

We now live for money, phones, mindful minutes, yoga poses, Instagramable memories, fast friendships, dropped relationships, trending causes, ignored calls, distant connections, sought after lifestyles, fast fashion to match our fast friendships, status that shouts stability but screams insecurity, have this, want that, never truly happy because we never stop, never knowing what we have because we don’t want to know what it’s like to be happy with nothing so therefore we live in a life that is going faster and faster so nobody ever stops to question what it is all about.

Most people doubting who they are as the daylight dims – as they no longer need to keep posed or perfect as the camera shutters fades to black. So many people presenting themselves to the world, their friends, their families to strangers as their ‘true authentic selves’ – a phrase that is beginning to make me sick to my stomach…as I think to myself that presenting yourself is not ‘being’ at all, it is an act in a world that has in many ways become a theatre, a show, a charade. The question I ask myself and I ask you too is ‘What haunts you when the darkness falls’ and ‘Who are we when the lights go out?’ – that is the most reality checking question that we should all ask on a very regular basis we should check in with that answer – because it will indeed present your true authentic self with no camera’s flashing or no crowds to please. The mirror of truth stands very clear when you face yourself in the dark.

Taking root, slowing down, staying put in one place is a kind of an eccentric idea nowadays but I believe it brings great big picture thinking if you allow yourself to settle, allow yourself to see. I am a very slow living kind of person. My way of life is not for everyone – it’s actually very outside the box for this ‘can’t go fast enough world’ we live. I love investigating the new and I do love seeing the world with fresh new eyes but my favourite view is when I sit with the old world – the trees, the sunlight, the fire, the stars, the moon and the sky in whatever way it wants to be. This time in the dark has really allowed me to step back in time and appreciate and value the old.

See we now live in a mindless state of rushing and racing, texting not talking, looking but not seeing while endlessly declaring to the world that ‘I’m too busy’ yet we have the same time as all those who went before us. Those generations never used the word ‘busy’ and they never were ‘too busy’ to sit and chat with friends or even strangers . Those gone before us never took the daylight awakening for granted. Those gone before held gratitude for neighbours, friends and relationships and they knew the value of the sun, the fire and even the darkness.

We – the human race- have forgotten that we are the fragile part of this world and we are the temporary tenants. Mother earth and this island that I live on will be here in a hundred years and hopefully more but I will not. We have forgotten who is really in control and it is times like this, that I must shake myself, make the most of this moment and awakened myself to the fact that I have taken the light and the dark for granted but most importantly I have been given the opportunity to not go blindly back into the world and make the same mistake all over again.

Gratitude is my name and gratitude is my nature.

Gratitude for the running water.

Gratitude for the light.

Gratitude for the cooked food and the hot drinks.

Gratitude for the warm home.

Gratitude for the roof in which I live under and the bed I lie on.

Gratitude to know that as the dark falls, light will follow.

Gratitude that I am not in control but someone greater, someone wiser, someone wonderful made this world and that someone will never fail in letting me hold that magic in my hands, my heart and my home if I am awake to see it.

I am grateful for the dark because it has taught me to be grateful for the light.

Without darkness, we would not know light and without someone greater we would not know either.

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I am dedicating this Substack letter to all who keep shining their light even when the darkness is against them.

I see you.

I feel you.

I am with you.

Lou x

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