Granny Nancy's Story.....

A light that will shine forevermore.....

“A book is a dream you hold in your hand.”

These words are from the very wise Neil Gaiman, the renowned English author, and how fitting they are when it comes to the story I’ve been working on since January. This week in my letter to you, I’ve decided I’m going to write a little bit about what I’m up to & a little bit of background on the story of myself and Gran….I guess when I say January was the starting point for writing my first book that is true but it was only the physical act of being focused to complete it began then, as my love for the person at the heart of this story started 38 years ago. The book I’m working on from morning until night is the life story of my beautiful grandmother told in her own words….Anyone who might be new to my world, just to introduce you to her, her name was Nancy (Ann) Stewart, and she was most fondly known as ‘Granny Nancy’ to not only her friends and family locally and across the country but she claimed her fame worldwide during the pandemic as she became everyone’s granny.

***This was Granny & myself zooming in as guests on Channel 4’s lunchtime Tv Show

A very ordinary life…..

Granny Nancy for much of her life lived a very ordinary life…marrying in 1937 to her first true love Bob, and then delivering six beautiful children into the world all born in her upstairs bedroom. It really was a different time. I remember Gran telling me about having the twin girls. She said “I was upstairs and you know there were no real medications back then Louise. We all just delivered our babies at home. The midwife joined me and the first baby arrived safely thank god. Next minute she was looking at me with a strange eye and I knew by her face, something had changed. Within a breath, she said with a smile, ‘You’re not going anywhere yet Nancy….Why said I….well you’ve got another baby to deliver’…Sure I was thrilled. Two baby girls…gorgeous little ones..so beautiful and all that mattered was that they were healthy and well. But we definitely laughed a lot about that story as a family. Bob was in for some surprise when he came back up to the room to see me. We had went from one cot to two in a matter of hours. It was a double blessing & I still smile thinking of that moment.”

These were the kind of stories that made Gran so special. Imagine living through a time where you welcomed your babies into the world in your own bedroom and the midwife just popped into see how you were doing. Not to forget the part that you knew nothing about your little baby as he or she formed and that you might end up having two babies and not one unbeknownst to you. No machines. No real medicine. No real advice or even support while this magical life giving process took place. Also totally relying on the luck of the midwife receiving a message that you needed her, and hoping she wasn’t already overseeing a delivery somewhere else in the parish or beyond. What a time to live through and yet there is something really special about it too. Of course it’s easy for me to say that but I know from chatting to Gran it wasn't easy so to speak, but she would have said that “back then we knew no different Louise, so we all just got on with it all and once everyone was well, we were happy”.

Stories of a special kind…..

These were the kind of stories Granny would have shared with me all day long as we sat by her Stanley stove, mugs of tea in hand, gentle hymns playing on the tele, the clock ticking, the world outside stopping… But inside this two hundred year old cottage two friends brought together by blood… engrossed & innocently learning more and more about each other as the days passed…nearly by accident we were given this time yet I completely believe fate was in control of both of our lives. The pandemic has done so much harm to so many but I’ll never not be grateful for the amazing magic that was created by that old virus (Gran’s term) stopping me in my tracks and leading me to the seat beside my grandmother. I had moved in with Gran well over a year before Covid landed so my love for her was already immeasurable at that point but my work took me away from her during the day. Like a mother missing her child, I spent my work day thinking about her & looking forward to seeing her & I couldn’t wait for the end of each work day to open the front door & take my place back in my cosy seat beside her every evening. I spoke of her all across my work travels during the day and all my students knew where my heart lay even while in their presence. Before heading out to my job each morning, me and Gran still shared our sacred morning rituals together (prayers and tea galore) and we had our long evenings together too but I missed her so much even though I was just gone to work.

A bond like no other…..

That was how deep my love was for her at that point…. it wasn’t until the world literally came to a halt that my blessing really arrived. See, even though it was traumatically shifted and the world was turned upside down in that moment, and so many bad things happened (I pray for everyone who suffered at that time & the pain it has inflicted on so many) but it was that very moment in history, that changed my life forever. It was that moment that fate gave me what I was pining for. I wanted to be with her in every moment she lived because I knew she was special and I also knew my time with her was limited. Yes our time with everyone is limited on this earth but I knew my 106 year old best friend couldn’t live forever and every moment I was away from her, was a moment I was missing with her. See in life, we become most like those we spend most of our time with. And I know as two souls, God, fate, the pandemic, the stars or whoever brought us together in such an intimate way, knew we would blend into each other and that only good memories, good moments, good lives would form from that blessing.

I will never not miss my grandmother. I will never not have her in my heart. I will never not hear her in my words. I will never regret a minute I spent in her company. Life is for the moments we make happen and then life is for the moments that happen to us and how we deal with them. I’m a big believer in fate but I’m equally a big believer in free will and the actions in which we take in this world belonging to us. When the front door closed on me and Gran in March 2020, I could have chosen to do my bit to mind her and that would have been enough to get her through. But that wouldn’t have been me. No, instead I saw this opportunity as an opportunity to make this the best time of her life and as I reflect now on photos, videos, and my very beautiful memories I hold in my mind, I think I achieved it.

An extraordinary lady…..

Granny was not an ordinary woman. She may have seen herself as someone living an ordinary life but she was an extraordinary human and I was given that extraordinary time to be a witness to her humble assuming magic and to watch as she healed, helped and gave hope to so many. I not only was a witness but I was part of it. Together we reached forward towards people at a time where nobody was reaching anywhere. Together we looked at things through the same lens, through the same heart. Together we wanted to help others. Together we knew we could. I had the technology, the love for her and I could see Granny Nancy’s special spirit and I wanted to share her with the world because I knew she could make a difference. She had so much to give. She had 107 years of wisdom, love and hope to give. Together we joined forces without saying anything and just did it. And there lies the magic of this moment. As the early days passed, we laughed and laughed and laughed. Even though the world was dark outside, we had decided our small little world of two was going to be filled with fun and laughter and bundles of hope.

No ordinary light…..

From baking, making jigsaws, praying, chatting, ringing every number in the phone book just to say hello to our fast tracked move to social media. Granny lit up the airwaves, the algorithms and most importantly and most impactfully peoples hearts…and I got to be part of that story and that is why this story, her story is so special to me. My heart is entangled around her forever. My heart feels every word I’ve written about her. It feels every word I write now as the tears just won’t stop flowing. I want to share her. I want to share our story. I want to give her light out to every person who needs it. And even for those who feel strong at this moment, if ever you should fall or become weighed down with worry, I want to step forward towards you with her light….Because her light was no ordinary light. It was special. It was a light that shone for over 107 years….

She was special and now the light has been left in my heart and it is my duty, my responsibility and it was my final promise made to Granny that I would continue shining our light even if she was no longer here. My final promise was to complete the book and as she said herself ‘ now if i’m not here, I don’t want you crying. I want you to smile and I want you to finish this book Lou.” So that’s where I am. I’m finishing our book and she’s not here. It’s been the hardest creative moment of my life. I am grieving my best friend. I am writing about her everyday. I am listening to our interviews and watching our videos. I am in her bedroom writing it. I couldn’t be closer to her in so many ways and yet my heart is so broken. But it’s broken in a way, that the light inside me shines out.

An end and a beginning all in one…..

And there lies my gift. My story. I feel it in me. I feel her magic inside my spirit and my soul has never been so at peace. I want for nothing only to be able to help others. I’ve always been that way but I know now I can carry my gift with a serenity I know comes from Granny. She’s up there looking down and I think I’m doing her proud, I hope so. I’m definitely trying my best that’s for sure and I’m so honoured to have had so much special time with her. To take Neil Gaiman’s words & turn them around, for me, ‘a dream is a book I will hopefully hold in my hand’….As the days are getting closer to it being finished and I will continue to share in here the progress on it, thank you one and all for your support all the way to this point. I could not have made it here without you. But Granny knew that and I know she organised all of ye to stay with me or enter my life at this moment.

I hope your week was lovely for each of ye and thank you so so much for reading all the way down here. I can’t put into words how grateful I am to you all. I will never forget your support and kindness to me & please know I will always be your friend. Until we are separated on this earth and then after that, I will meet you at the gates of Heaven for when we start the next ever lasting journey of our lives.

But until that moment, we will embrace our time here, we will continue to light each others path when dark times fall and we will smile in the moments when life is good.

All my love and all my light to you,

Keep looking up,

Your friend always,

Lou x

Before I finish here’s just three minutes of our magic together in audio version…..just to give you a little taster of the lady I speak so highly of.. I hope you enjoy

Woohooo to you Granny in Heaven……

Ps. I hope to share my story of Granny and the process of writing the book as the week roll on here Substack. I hope this is something you will enjoy and I hope we can get excited about the book together as it comes to life. I would love if you might like to share this article or comment below to let me know what you think. Your words help me to keep going and I appreciate your thoughts and friendship so much.

I would also love if you might like to join our Facebook family…It really is a very special community of close to 20,000 people who I promise you, you will just love and they will love you. The link to that home is here: 'Living and Laughing with Lou' Facebook Page

Until my next letter,

Keep Looking Up x