The Joy of Living.....
What's in your cup?
Henri J.M. Nouwen once said, “Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it everyday.” And isn’t that the truth? The more time I spend in this world and the more I watch how it works and sometimes, more often than not, I see how it often doesn’t work very fairly on many. It’s in those moments in seeing other people suffer, feel stress and hardship, that I continuously have to say to myself, ‘Hey there Lou, you have a lot to be grateful for’ and that instantly reminds me, to keep my feet on the ground and to realise how lucky I am in so many ways.
Since today is Monday, I’ve decided to focus on the positive parts of life. Kick start the week with some powerful gratitude and maybe, just maybe, while reading about joy, joy will spread across this magical internet yokie bob and you will feel it too. I’m going to just pick one thing I really love for this week’s letter and write about it. And maybe each week or regularly, I will continue to pick out different things or people or moments that have brought me joy and write about them. Do let me know what you think about this writing strategy because at the end of the day, it’s you I want to make smile. It’s you, my dear reader, my dear friend who I want to bring joy to in these substacks. You are so good to open the email when I send them out, you are so good to find this letter on a link and follow it to its home, and you are so good to spend your time on me here. So I really want to make sure I’m making you smile as much as I can. I know sometimes we cry together in here too but that is ok too. If anything I think that’s what makes our friendship in here so special. We are natural selves in here, warts and all, and we still love each other. Isn’t that what life is all about? Isn’t that what communicating is all about? To spread joy, give joy, share joy and be joy for each other….That’s my thinking on it for sure. Do let me know what you think of this approach….We’ll start with Joy number ONE and go from there….Also I’d love to hear what brings you joy in the comments below too. Pick one thing and share it when you’ve got to the bottom of this letter…Looking forward to seeing your thoughts….
So here we go…..
The first thing i’m picking that always brings me joy is……(many of you won’t be surprised by this)….but it’s something that always makes me happy…something that makes me smile from ear to ear and something I talk about a lot….and that is my CUP OF TEA….
The sound of the kettle boiling, the perfect amount of time to ponder my thoughts while the temperature rises within the water and then the sound of the click when the kettle wants to let me know, it’s time, you can now have your hot cup of tea Lou. Barry’s tea bags a must. I am Granny Nancy’s granddaughter afterall. She wouldn't have me drink anything else. From morning until the wee hours of the night, I definitely know I COULD NOT last in this world or in this life, without my cup of tea.
I love my coffee but for me coffee is either of two things. If i’m out meeting a friend, I’ll always have a coffee as my little treat. Nothing as tasty as a cappuccino with a friend over chats. The second reason I love my coffee is a means of neccessity. If i’m low on energy or low on brainwaves (particularly when I’m writing), I’ll go have a coffee…It’s kind of like a mental thing for me…Somewhere in the word ‘coffee’ I feel it’s telling me, ‘Get your ass in gear Lou, you can do this!’ Yep I do that inner monologue thing too in real life (I’m really letting ye guys into my head these days - no boundaries with this friendship of ours)…and yes my coffee does talk back to me. I visualise my coffee in a character form…like a sergeant major or something…You know sharp shooting, straight down the line, no messing kind of person but inspirational in their own way….I can only have one coffee a day as otherwise I would never sleep, that’s how sharp shooting my coffee sergeant major is…As you know I’m not the greatest sleeper in the world to start with so therefore I must limit my time spent with Seargent Coffee….But overall my love for coffee remains the same, we are great old pals just can’t be in each others company too much. Like once daily and that’s my fill. But I’m always so grateful for him being in my life. Essential but just not my ultimate joy in a mug.
So back to my hot cup of tea or should I say, my hot cup of joy as I’m now calling it……Barry White had a song called ‘My First, My Last, My Everything’ (you know it right…Ally McBeal days - how could we ever forget those - such a great programme- I’m trying my best not to digress here but you know how hard that is for me). Let’s just say, I think this best describes my relationship with my Barry’s cuppa. oooh how ironic…Barry White…Barry’s Teabags…oh that is a good match if ever there was one and I did that totally accidentally…Anyways following my deeper thought down this rabbit hole or should that into the teapot, I’ve actually done a lot of thinking about my cup of tea. I’ve even done a lot of talking about it too in life. A lot of my friends and family and particularly the Facebook Family have heard me endless speak about the importance of tea in my life…
See the thing about tea is, for me anyways, it solves a multitude of situations as well as provides me with a multitude of emotions, a multitude of thoughts and leads me to a multitude of avenues that I might not have reached without my cuppa in my hand.
In the morning, it’s my routine. It’s my go to. It’s my waking my brain stimulant. It actually talks to my brain even when I don’t think my brain wants to talk to me. As the day progresses, it’s definitely a stable friend who never leaves my side. Actually let’s correct that, most importantly and always, my cup of tea is my companion and my friend. I think that’s what I love about it most. Its commitment to be itself. Tea is just tea. And more often than not, within the process of making my cup of tea, it offers me the answer I was looking for…and sometimes even, the answer I didn’t even know I was looking for.
Also if i’m stuck on something or stuck in anyway, I’ll make tea. If i’m bored, I’ll make tea. If I don’t know what to do, i’ll make tea. If I’m happy, I’ll make tea. If i’m having food, I’ll make tea. If a few minutes of my time comes free, I’ll make tea. If' i’m lonely, I’ll make tea. If I’m sad, I’ll make tea. If i’m annoyed, I’ll make tea. If I’ve said something I didn’t mean to someone I love, I’ll make tea. If i’m me, I’ll make tea. If I’m lost in the world, I’ll make tea. You can see where this is going. Tea is a staple in my life and it has never ever let me down. The first sip, the second sip, the third sip, they all sort a multitude of problems and share in the joys of my life too. They create my joy too. See I love tea. I genuinely don’t think my day would go right without it. I’d be lost without my cup of tea.
Tea is a little bit like Granny and in many ways, my cup of tea reminds me of her every time I make it. See when you are left in total lockdown for two years with your beautiful grandmother as your sole companion, and who is also your best friend and also an absolute tea-aholic, how could tea not remind me of her. Everytime I boiled the kettle, seven million times a day, I made two cups of tea. ‘Are we having tea Gran?’ I’d ask after only having our last cup of tea. We both got into a stride of just going from one cup to the other and we loved it. I loved tea. She loved tea. It really was another personality match made in heaven or earth as the case may be. Gran was very similar to me in our habits so as the saying goes, I didn’t lick it off the ground. My mam too. I guess the Irish in general are mad for tea. We love our teabags but I guess somewhere in the losing of Gran, I now think of her everytime I make a cup which in so many ways is magical. I have to be honest, I’m still not used to just making one cup. I still take two cups out on occasions, then I look out to her chair and my heart breaks…as it’s doing as I type this. Tears are welling up everytime I try to write this part but I will continue because as I often say, in the tears there is healing and I must as healthily and bravely face my grief and my loss. In both my tears and my association is my joy.
My cup of tea. My cup with Gran. My cup of joy. And even though gran is no longer here, so many amazing people who I love dearly are and to those I raise my cup of tea and love spending time with them now.
For three and a half years, I choose Gran every time in my life. And I have absolutely no regrets about that. Everytime I choose Gran, there would be five corresponding messages to friends and family to tell them that I couldn’t make it here, there or wherever. But now the time has returned where I can spend time with all these special people and how grateful I am to them all for sticking by me. They never gave up on me. They never doubted my undying love for Gran and were so supportive that I kept choosing her. For that, I’ll always be so grateful and it’s now that I can enjoy having my cup of tea with them.
That’s the thing about tea. It brings people together. It really is the answer to everything. No matter the problem, just make tea ( this is my policy and you will hear me repeat this in company all the time, I really really believe in it). Whether it’s a problem shared or a laugh needed, I can promise you if I’m close by, i’ll have the kettle boiling and that’s the kind of friends I have too. Denise, Martha, Catriona - Special shout out’s to these three. They are always boiling the kettle for me. They have been boiling it for a long time now but particularly in the aftermath of the loss of Gran, they have be superb. I couldn’t have done what I done for Gran or with Gran without them in my life and in so many ways, they have saved my life since she left. If I could count the amount of cups of tea they have made me, I know it’s in the millions.
I’ve been blessed and so fortunate to have such good people around me in my life and I’ll never not be grateful for all the tea we’ve shared and all the tea we still have to share going forward. Between two cups of tea and two friends, you have the stuff dreams are made of. Ok not the dreams in a movie kind of world but instead my dreams. My dreams are of the ordinary moments in our lives. They are my favourite. I’ve learned that from Granny. She loved her friends and she loved sharing tea with them. She loved her family and she loved sharing tea with them too. She loved me and I loved her and we loved sharing tea together and if it’s only that, I learned from the lady who lived for nearly one hundred and eight years, then I think I’ve learned the best lesson of my life.
See joy is in our hands. Nobody else’s. We can give and take joy as much as we want in this world or we can leave it behind. We can create joy. We can give it away. We can multiply it. We can share it. We can throw it around like confetti. We can serve it in a mug and hand it out by the dozens and I can tell you, that is my plan. I will give joy to myself for as long as I can boil the kettle and I will try to give joy to others for as long as I’m on this earth and to anyone who wants to share tea with me. By the way, you don’t actually have to drink tea, I do make a great sergeant major when it comes to it :)
Joy. Just like tea is a three letter word. Such a small little word but it can bring so much joy. I love that. I love when small words have such a big impact. Just like our actions. Small actions can lead to big impacts. Never doubt your small moves. Never question your innate want to simply make someone a cup of tea or offer a listening ear. That is all we all need and want in this world. I hope you realise how much you are loved and how grateful I am to know you. I hope you know how much you make a difference in this world. And I hope you know how much joy your bring to my heart and so many others!
Keep being you! Keep making those cups of tea! Keep giving yourself joy and keep shining your joy outwards.
You are magic and you don't even know it!
And if life is being heavy on you at this moment, it’s going to be ok. Keep going. Keep stepping forward. One step at a time. One hour at a time. One day at a time. Go gently on yourself and you will get there.
Thank you for reading this letter and for your forever support and friendship,
Much love and light to you always (and loads of tea),
Your friend,
Lou x
Ps. Love if you might comment below if you are enjoying these letters and if there is anything specific you would like me to change, add in or cover going forward, please do let me know. Also l’d love if you might like to comment below on what brings you joy in your day to day life or if you like me, love your cuppa tea and love making a friend a cup of tea…..Sure what more could we want in this life. A cup of tea and a friend. For me, it’s everything!
Okeydokey, I hope you’ve enjoyed reading today’s joyful look at life and I hope somewhere within my words, you feel joy too. I thank you whole heartedly for reading all the way down here and thank you for your time and for all those virtual cups of tea we’ve had and I look forward to the many real life cup’s we will have when this book comes out too….
Until Friday’s letter, mind yourself and don’t forget, Keep Looking Up X
This certainly gave me joy, Lou. I’m here with my cuppa, listening to you. I’ve been brought lots of joy this week by having some rain here after the heat. I’m hugely grateful for it! X
Awe right back at you Lou thank you for your kind words 😘😘