Be The Master Of Your Own Fate.....

Lean in....

Louise Coghlan

Feb 06, 2023

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*Please hit the play button up above on the audio recording for the whole ‘lou’ experience haha ;) Yes I am laughing to myself as I write this…I promise you will enjoy these words as you listen to them….Go on…Give them a go….hit the old play button…and THANK YOU xx

How can one become so bounded
By choices that somebody else makes?
How come we've both become a version
Of a person we don't even like?

We're in love with the world
But the world just wants to bring us down
By putting ideas in our heads
That corrupt our hearts somehow

When I was a child
Every single thing could blow my mind
Soaking it all up for fun
But now I only soak up wine

They say to play hard, you work hard
Find balance in the sacrifice
Yet I don't know anybody
Who's truly satisfied

You better believe I'm trying
To keep climbing
But the higher we climb
Feels like we're both none the wiser.

So I hope I learn to get over myself
Stop trying to be somebody else
So we can love each other for free
Everybody wants something
You just want me

Why am I obsessing
About the things I can't control?
Why am I seeking approval
From people I don't even know?

In these crazy times I hope to find
Something I can cling on to
'Cause I need some substance in my life
Something real, something that feels true

You better believe for you I've cried
High tides
'Cause I want you so bad
But you can't fight fire with fire

So I hope I learn to get over myself
Stop trying to be somebody else
So we can love each other for free

So you might recognise these words or maybe you don’t…..but they are indeed the lyrics of the wonderful singer Adele and they are taken from the song ‘I drink wine'. I’m going to place the video down below to this song and I highly recommend you hit play on it…..You will hear the words differently after reading/listening to this substack today (I hope)….On Saturday night last, I attended a very soul soothing tribute show to Adele and I was reminded of the power of music and also the power of the word…..I love music, it’s been a saviour for me in times when my life rocked about and it’s been my souls companion for all the good times…I write to music. I walk to music. I think to music. I sing to music (badly). I feel to music. I create to music. I’m me when i’m listening to music. I worked in the music industry for ten years and the reason I chose that path was, I loved music so much I wanted to drench myself in it. It sure wasn’t easy, the music industry is tough but I loved every second and I was so lucky to spend, learn and love so many amazingly talented musicians and to experience them making, creating and sharing their wonderful talents. While listening to the lyrics of Adele on Saturday night, I was moved by a lyric within this song ‘I drink wine’…I love the lyrics throughout out but today I am going to focus on two particular lines…...

The lyric being….‘So I hope I learn to get over myself…
Stop trying to be somebody else.’

Now this is gut punching lyric but I hold such respect for Adele for throwing it out there….and in fairness, in the song, she is acknowledging this within herself….

But why I love it, is that we need to tell this to ourselves too. We all can say it out loud and it will make an impact on our mindset…Let’s try it here….I’m going to say it…..

‘So I hope I learn to get over myself…
Stop trying to be somebody else.’

Let’s say it again….

‘So I hope I learn to get over myself…
Stop trying to be somebody else.’

‘Our Moves’

It’s such a strong statement….and for me….it moved my mindset in a moment to reminding myself that I can let go of pressures….let go of structures we all put up in our minds of how our lives are meant to go….It takes the responsibility of life not so much being what we imagine but what we make of it ourselves….It’s our moves, our mindset that give us our outlook on how things appear. We are responsibility for how we see things and therefore more often than not, how we respond, how we behave and ultimately, the kind of person we are, comes down to us making those choices…..Our thoughts, our feelings and how we choose to think of ourselves effects not only others, but to how we feel about ourselves….Happiness, peace and contentment lies within…..and nobody is responsible for that, only ourselves….It comes down to our own moves within our own minds and our actions and behaviour that defines the type of life we lead and ultimately how we feel about ourselves….The power lies within…we just need to make the right moves, choose the right thoughts to believe and feel and become our true selves…

‘Stop Trying to be Somebody Else’

So when Adele sings ‘Stop trying to be somebody else’, this is my reminder to you and very much to ME, to relax our shoulders, take a big deep breathe in…and then out ( it’s good for the lungs) haha but also good for the headspace to give yourself a break and realise if you just lean in, lean in to you, lean in to your natural authentic self, your life will work just as it should. There will always be bumps, pot holes, obstacles and even very tough parts to your journey on this earth but when you get to the end of it, who do you want to be when this journey is over. You want to be YOU right? You don’t want to look back on your life, however long it will be and say, god I made a poor call there. I lived a life that wasn’t truly me. I was too hard on me. I should have let this, or that, or the other go. I should have stepped away from those people who didn’t bring me joy. I should have invested more in me. Or maybe even I should have invested more in those who gave me love. To have a circle of good people around you, one must give and take. It’s a balance we all often struggle with but we must aim for it. We will not have good people around us, if we do not make the effort ourselves. We must bring forth the goodness within us and realise that it’s a choice to make others feel good and it is a choice to make us feel good too. There is no point being drawn into a lifestyle, a mindset, a false image of what we want our lives to be. We must work at it. We must lean in and see the good. Look out and see the good. If we look for the good, I promise you, you will feel good. And when you feel good, you will feel like your true self. The emotions of the heart and the imaginary standards and high expectations we put on ourselves can often be fed from pressures created by society but also created by us too. The people I love most in this world are the people who smile when they are happy, cry when they are sad, share when they are lost and lean in and look for answers. I try to be this kind of person too. I do not want to be somebody else, I want to be me in this world.

The Reasons Why….

The answer to that question is very simple. When I am myself, I am happiest. When I trust in me, I feel peace. When I feel hopeful, I truly believe everything is possible. When I am me, I feel grounded in the fact that this is my life and I want to be on this path on earth, as me, for me, and for the bigger picture. I have been given good health, I have a body that is well, I have eyes that see. I have ears that hear. I have lungs that breathe. I have a voice that speaks. I have people around me who love me. I have people who I love. I look to the sky all day long and at night I look to the stars and the moon. Everyday I am grateful that I can see it. Everyday I am happy to be here. Somedays are tough and someday I feel lost but those days are the days I am most grateful when the sun rises again. I am a person who lives day to day. Somedays I live hour to hour. I feel my feelings. I express them too. I express them to people who are my people. I smile when I meet strangers. I am hopeful and open to anyone new and alert my mind that I will for sure learn something new today. I am open to the world. I am me. And yes Adele, you are right, ‘why be somebody else’ when we can just be us. We just need to remind ourselves to be the master of our own fate.

How?

And how do you do that Lou I hear you say? Well it’s a mindset approach…We need to tell ourselves enough that we are indeed good enough. We are on the right path. We can achieve our goals. We can shine bright and be us and we will be loved. The amazing thing about being human is our brain listens over and over to our thoughts and then they become our beliefs…So if we feed in enough good energy to ourselves (without it becoming ego of course), we truly will believe that we can and are happiest when being ourselves. Why be someone else…Just be your fabulous loving self….

The same goes for if we feed in bad energy or thoughts about ourselves we will then feel bad and maybe if allow that bad energy dictate our behaviour and actions too… So today start here….Believe in yourself. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Don’t be somebody else. Be you. Lean in…..And if it doesn’t suit people around you that you are shining your light and being your wonderful self, then there is a very simple solution to that. Change your people. Lose those who do not support your authentic self. Let go of people who do not support your dream, do not support your smile, do not support your tears, do not support YOU. Pick people who help you lean in. Pick people who help you believe in your journey ahead and then work towards mastering your own belief in your fate ahead!

Three of my best friends who support and believe in me…..I am myself and I am loved x

You’ve got this. And don’t forget, sometimes we have to get over ourselves, travel through darkness and feelings of being lost to find the path to our own shining light! You’ve got this! Believe in you like I believe in you!

All my love,

Lou xx

P.S. Thanks a million much for reading all the way down here! You are the best, do you know that….I could never thank you enough for reading/listening to my words. Please feel free to comment below on your thoughts…and don’t forget to hit the play button on Adele’s song now to give you the full feeling of this piece….