Where Strength Lies, Hope Lives Too!
Be Strong. Be Happy. Be Free.
**If you wish to listen to me reading this letter to you, just hit play up above. Ps. There is something extra special in the audio x
I am opening this letter with the simple yet very powerful words of St. Francis’ Prayer. Let us read/inhale/breathe these words into our hearts and let them sit inside our spirtual centres. Softly, gently and slowly read these words to yourself….
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love,
Where there is injury, pardon,
Where is despair, hope,
Where there is darkness, light,
Where there is sadness, joy.
Grant that I may seek not so much
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood and to understand,
to be loved, as to love.
For it is giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
The reason i’ve opened with the words of St. Francis is because I need them right now. I’ve leaned on this prayer for over a decade and it always centers me. It does its very best on every reading and most of the time it wins me over as a solid reminder that if the hards times move towards us, the balance and tipping points of those moments on the flip side are made of the good stuff, and one must just hold on and things will come right again.
And at all times, no matter how dark it gets, we are able to access those strength serving elements by simply tapping into them. And the way to do that, is simply to take one big deep breathe and pause. Pause, Reflect. Pray. Take quiet time. Close your mind off from the panic no matter how loud it’s rattling on the door to get in. The big scary boogie man that we fear as a child becomes an adults real life fears and it is very hard to push them back under the bed. I know you know what I am talking about because we are all human and as long as you are living in this life, you will indeed enjoy very good times but no matter how you do it, you indeed dark times straight on too.
My policy for the tougher times is to deep dig. I initially go quiet to allow my body, mind and spirit to take that pause. My next advise is to grab a mug of tea. Grab a friend if you can too. And get yourself a hug but on the occasions that a friend is not available,do not panic because then this moment is asking of you to dig deeper, to grow stronger and to hug yourself with compassion and love. That is a bigger ask than finding a friend - but it is a strength builder that will serve you well on the long road. And as many of you know my obsession with tea - making it, thinking about it and even talking about it ;) I truly believe that cup of tea can provide all the nourishment that the soul needs in that moment. My cuppa tea becomes my hug in a mug when needed.
In this life, there are lots of parts when people we love can comfort us and then there will be lots of times, when we must tough it up and dig deep in the inner reserves and pull ourselves out of the sea. We might feel like we are drowning and i’ll be straight up with you, yes we are drowning within ourselves in those moments but there is always a way out, we just have to believe in the other side of our story and put that life jacket over our heads and swim, swim towards the shore against all the odds and in this instance, be our very own lighthouse. And it is this inner strength, bravery and courage time and time again that will train your brain, heart and spirit to know that when the rocking boat knocks you out into the crashing waves, you will survive. You have before and you will again. I am writing to you today to remind you and me that no matter what comes to our door, what problems, worries and stresses move in around us, we will make it out to the light, hope, love and joy once again, even if we are feeling against the odds, we will make it - I promise!
The first part of St. Francis Prayer opens us to the two sides of life and how as my philosophy teacher would say, ‘the reminder that we are part of the whole’. In other words, we cannot have night without day, we cannot have hatred without knowing love and we definitely cannot have sadness without joy. And don’t we all agree with those statements. I actually am comforted by that idea because all the good stuff of this world is very easy to enjoy. Life is a pleasure when things are going right. And more often than not, we don’t even notice it when life is serving us green lights in traffic, when we have money in our pocket and when we are well and able to get out of bed.
See the times we truly are brought to a standstill only come to our awareness when things go wrong. And then only then, are we presented with the opportunity to notice the gratitude we should have had before this moment. It is only when we are in a car crash, everything changes. The day our loved one dies - the one we did not care enough about - or spend enough ordinary moments with - are the moments we ask ourselves ‘why didn’t I make those calls or visits? Why didn’t I make time?’
The moment you receive a health scare knowing there is no going back, the memory that flashes into your mind as someone you once loved serves you with intense pain, the change of wanting more and it all falling from your grapse knowing that more is not what this life is all about, but being grateful for what you have is actually the key. These are the life testing times that you will be calling on those practices of faith, hope and love that St. Francis and his prayer offers.
The second part of the prayer sends us in the direction of some tough topics too. If you are to be loved, you must give love away in the same way you wish to receive it.Personally I think that is perfectly fair game. If you wish to be pardoned and forgiven you too must offer that same forgiveness - I think this is the one I struggle with most if I’m truly honest with you. Forgiveness is something I will speak more about as this year moves forward. The question I pose to you now is the one I’m posing to myself, ‘How does one forgive someone who does not believe that they have done wrong nor do they wish to offer your an apology or changed behaviour in their actions?’ This is a tough cookie isnt’t it? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below on this one. I have spent all last year and the beginning of this year wrestling with this topic and I expect most of 2025 and the rest of my my life no doubt I will always battle with the balance of forgiveness. It really is a tricky one to get your head around when the road is meant to be two way and yet in ways I feel two way forgiveness is complicated if you are the one being hurt. But then I lean over to the phrase of Marcus Aurelius and it has brought me great comfort in this area ‘You are only harmed if you decide you are harmed.’ Honestly I think this line has got me through a lot of tough moments in the last twelve months. I have worked hard on myself in this area and along with ‘The Four Agreements’ I am probably getting there. Not sure where ‘there’ is but I am growing more at peace with the trouble that rises with the conflicts within the people we love. The people we must lose. And the people who lose us.
Life sure is a complicated ride isn’t it? I know if you might be reading this and life is going nicely, you are probably thinking to yourself, god Lou is very deep isn’t she? Maybe you might even think I’m a little on the dark/shadow side. And you know what I guess in ways that thinking might be correct. Becuase I am a big believer in the only way I will survive this life and hopefully lead a good life is by looking at and inside the shadows of life. And in those shadows is me. I must look at the dark to be truly able to look and be my own light.
When things get tough, you question everything.
At this moment in my life, all I was brought up to believe as a child of two really honest, decent, loving parents was that kindness, compassion and even forgiveness was to be served fairly to all. In this moment in my life, that is not as easy as I once thought. I am travelling through a moment that is testing me. Pushing me to see how strong I am inside and I am learning that no matter how many moments you pass through, this moment is the only moment that you can respond to. You can only be as aware, as awake and as willing as you can be to try your best to do the right thing for the right person in that right moment. And of course this is indeed one of my strongest beliefs systems - I believe we are all in the right place at the right time for the right person and it is up to us to do the right thing. So here I stand, living, learning and even though I feel lost every so often just like you do, I will keep leaning in and looking up. I will keep turning to the light as I travel through the moments of darkness and in every ocean I fall from the boat, I will take the lesson in how I swam back to shore and I will be stronger every single time.
Keep travelling forward my dear friend. You are doing great becuase you are doing your best. And that is always enough.
Love and light,
Your friend always,
Lou x
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Ps. Apologies for any errors in the text above, you know me, I just write and send xx with love and all my imperfections xx
Lou, thank you for the beautiful words as always.
It's been quite a day for us here being tested a bit and I'm going to light my Brigid's candle today for you as you always show me the light.
I am thinking of you as you struggle through your own test.
I know from experience this too shall pass for you but the trip is the most difficult.
Love you
Chris
Here I am I often reread your words Life is full of bumps on the road that's for sure Sometimes you feel like your never going to get ahead Find comfort where you can Life is short